So, where are you from, Munnuswamy? You don’t have to be Einstein to figure that one out, Tamil Nadu, of course. Accha, the new girl’s name is Tejinder Kaur! Punjabi obviously. Just like every state has its own language, culinary habits, so too does every state have its own peculiar proper names. If you have been in India long enough you will not only know which state the person belongs to, but also most probably figure out which district, their ancestral profession, their caste and much more. But not anymore!

Walk in today to any of the so called private schools in Tamil Nadu, and ask for a student named Periyaswamy and chances are that the only Periyaswamy will be the school bus driver. So too are the chances of finding a Gaitonde in Bombay’s elite schools or a Narasimhulu in Cyberabad’s international schools. So what are we naming India’s millions these days? Well, believe it or not, we are naming them after the North Indian or should I say Delhi/ Mumbai counterparts. Don’t trust me? Repeat the same experiment and ask for a Prem or Rahul and one perky head will rise up in every class. Call it the Bollywoodisation of India or the invasion of the Aryan Culture, but names which were ones synonymous with different states are slowly but surely dying a slow death. No self respecting parent of the aspiring middle class will call his ward anything that would be out of place in a Bollywood potboiler. Debendra and Kunjumol are passé, Deepak and Kavitha are in. Even parents who are loathe naming their children uncommon North Indian names, somehow compromise and achieve mid ground - Karthikeyan, the name of the famous God who sits atop Palani hills is now shortened to Karthik, Yeshwantrao is now conveniently Yashwant, Jignesh is now Vignesh and so on. Another way of achieving this balance is to use two different names altogether. Popularly called ‘the pet name’ , this name used to call one by near and dear ones will in most cases have nothing to do with the official or given name- the girl next door who goes by the name of Ammulu mysteriously transforms herself into Amrita in college.

Actually, this Bollywoodisation of names is but the tip of the iceberg, the tentacles of this phenomenon are spreading to other vistas too. Consider Pongal, the most celebrated festivals of Tamil Nadu, ask any city bred teenager when was the last time he celebrated Pongal the way it is meant to be celebrated, feeding cows, making Pongal in a new earthen pot and you would draw a blank but ask if he has celebrated Holi (or Valentine’s Day, for that matter) or would like to celebrate one, hitherto this unheard of festival in those parts, you would sure get more aye’s than no’s. The choice between feeding cows and applying coloured powder on the cheeks of the girl in class is quite obvious isn’t it? Speaking in hindi is cool but conversing in Telugu means you are not educated?

But is the reverse true? Do North Indian teenagers also look up to their Southern or Eastern brethren to form ideals? I would guess the answer is No! Consider this, the popular show ‘Indian Idol’ purportedly identifying India’s idol has no auditions in the South or East. Another popular show ‘Sa Re Ga Ma Pa’ has 4 regions called, North, West, East and Central. Yup, you are right, no South! Hariharan, Shankar Mahadevan, Yesudas, SP Balasubramaniam and AR Rehman are simply freaks who happen to be there.

These allegory are also true for most other aspects of life today, are the so called custodians of regional cultures who spent much time renaming Madras – Chennai, Bombay – Mumbai and Calcutta – Kolkotta listening?

What’s in a name? A lot…